Math Procrastination

Hey ya'll! :D It hasn't been long since I posted here. Maybe when you are new in this, the posts keep on coming but once you get the hang of it, the number of posts everyday will slowly go down. I tried making blogs before but end up not continuing them because I wanted to write different topics (wherein the blog I made was for a specific one only) and I get bored of them quite easily. I hope that now I have somewhat (and I mean somewhat) matured, I will continue what I have started :D

Anyway, the above title is true ^. I am writing on this blog because of my procrastination issues. I thought to myself that now that I am in college, I will do my best to work hard so that I will have a good future. I don't know why, but every time I am about to do school works, I feel this tiresome feeling and get sluggish that I want to go to bed and lie down for 1, 2, 3 days :))

The reason why I am procrastinating and is worried about it also is because I am not (NOT) good in mathematics. When I was in grade school (elementary, for other countries), I really liked math. I liked the way it challenges me to find the answer to certain problems. There are different ways, but as long as you find the answer that you are looking for, all's good. But now, even though there are a lot more solutions, I can't seem to find the right one T.T I don't understand it, but I am really struggling in math. I have struggled so much in high school that sometimes, I cried myself to sleep because of the latter (no exaggerations. I was grade conscious and seeing my hard work was all for nothing really got me down).

I remember last year, during the time that I was really pressured by math, someone joked to me that I was "bobo" (which means idiot) in math. It really hurt me because I had been working hard (to no avail) that I cried silently to sleep. Whenever math is brought up, I get all sensitive about it.

Last week in my university, we started studying something light, something that even a grade school can do. But since it is college, and I am not attending just any college, I knew that there was more to it than that and I will see it by the time quizzes and long exams will be given out (my hearts is racing right now. I am scaring myself :)) ). I really lack confidence but I hope that I will gain them in college.

Last night, I was really bothered about this that I can't go to sleep. I tried searching the net through my Itouch  on ways how to be good in math. There were articles of advice and what not to do. I also searched about the record-breaker summa cum laude of our school and because of this, a blog caught my attention.

It was said in his blog that he studied at the college that I am studying at right now. He was a graduate, and now, he is taking his Master's Degree all over the world, like London for example. He talked about being a BS Mathematics graduate but struggled in math because no matter how much he practiced, he never became better in math just like the summa cum laude who claimed that practicing makes perfect because that was what the he did and he was not born a mathematician. But I thought, if his practicing was not a success, how come he graduated from a course which majored in math? In conclusion about that, I think he tried his best and had his fair share of success but he did not realize that because he kept on comparing himself to those who are better than them. What he did, as a graduate, was enough proof that he is a great mathematician.

Well, so much for that :)) I hope later, I will have the drive to study math. I want to be good in math too T.T Our professor for discussion (lecture = large class; discussion = big class) is the record-breaker summa cum laude (searching about him was not a random thought) so I am really nervous because he may think that I am a complete idiot T.T But I hope this year, I will prove something to myself about the subject. It is a really good thing that I have friends who are willing to help me :DDD You know who you are, and thanks to you! :D (though I don't think you will ever read this blog :)) ).